Emily went to see doctor Felice on Nov. 4, 2014. Doctor Felice saw that she was getting worse and had lots of pain on her tummy. He asked Emily why she did not do the procedure to remove fluid from her tummy. Emily said the place to remove the fluid was not where her pain was. Dr. Felice then explained that the fluid is in many areas. The doctor was trying to find a spot where it was easy to put a needle and do the procedure. Dr. Felice thought it was better for Emily to stay in the hospital so that he had better control. Like in the case, if he knew why Emily did not like the procedure. He could explain quickly. Emily agreed and she was placed in the hospital that afternoon. I stayed in the hospital until 7 PM. The doctor gave her some pain medicine and did the blood transfusion so that she could have enough platelet for the procedure. I went to see her next day in the morning. She said she did not have much sleep because the nurses kept coming in and out. She was not allowed to eat or drink because of the procedure. But she was so thirsty. The nurse gave her some warm water. She then complained about the water not hot enough. So I went out and got some hot water for her. I could stay longer. But she insisted for me to leave. So I left and promised to come back during lunch.

Emily texted me at around 11:30 to see if I would come for lunch. I told her yes right away and told her that I could grep something on my way there and if she would like me to get something for her too. She did not reply. So I got today's special from downstairs deli, which is chipolata.  It took me a while to find parking spot when I got there. When I got to the room, it was already 12:30.  I asked Emily if should like to eat some chipolata. She said I should have known that I did not like Chipolata. Instead,she ordered a taco from the hospital. After order, she got a phone call from Jack Zhou. Instead of listening to her phone call, I decided to go out to make a call to Vinod's friend Amuthan. Amuthan's nephew has stage 4 cancer and was able to be treated in Johns Hopkins Hospital. I talked to Amuthan. What I found is Amuthan's nephew has stage 4a lymphoma cancer spread to lung. In Johns Hopkins they did the bone marrow transplant. He said there was only 25% chance of success. And they were lucky to be the 25%. Amuthan mentioned Johns Hopkins is the only place that can do marrow transplant with 100% match.  So his nephew used his father's marrow for transplant and was able to get rid of the cancer.

After the phone call, I went back to Emily's room. Emily was angry about why I left the room. She said she was quite itch and wanted someone to help her clean. So I helped her clean. After that, we waited for her lunch to arrive. What that arrived, I helped her to eat. She would mad at me again telling me that she was not handicap and helping her would make her feel bad. I don't know what to say.  In the last 5 or 10 years, she had been yelling at me for no particular reason frequently. She would be nice to friends. I don't know why she could not treat me as friend. Am I really that incapable? Sometime, I blame this on her iron deficiency which could cause moody. But why she could be nice to her friend.  If she is my boss or my friend, I would leave right away and won't bother again as I dealt with Aman from my working days with Openwave. But this is my family which I cannot leave behind.  Now, looking back, I don't know if it might be better if I leave longtime ago so that Emily won't have that much anger or hate. Will she be better if she marry someone else and without so much suffering now?  

It seems getting harder and harder. I called Reston hospital Oncologist office and talked to Linda which is an assistant physician with Dr. Felice on Oct. 29 2014.  She told me that the pet scan on July 18 was good. But the pet scan on Sept. 23, showed the tumor had spread to lung. The tumor could produce fluid, which may cause cough. The biggest one has size of about 1cm. She also mentioned some tumors are on the bones which are use to produce blood. The liver tumor may also damage liver function based on Emily's yellow skin. That is very bad news. What should I do? Ask for second opinion. Emily doesn't like that idea.

On Friday, Oct. 31, the day after blood transfusion, Emily is able to do the therapy.  On Friday, she seems OK. But Saturday, she was complaining about joint and hip pain, which won't go away. Her coughing was reduced a little on Saturday night. But she is still complaining about stomach is too full. What can we do?